The Feeling Without A Name
by yllanger-huntress
Summary: Rukia accepted her fate as a Kuchiki, to marry another noble. But because of this 'feeling', Ichigo was determined to get her back, even if it meant by force. IchiRuki. Discontinued.


**The Feeling Without A Name**

**Summary: **Rukia accepted her fate as a Kuchiki, to marry another noble. But because of this 'feeling', Ichigo was determined to get her back, even if it meant by force. IchiRuki. Still thinking about HichiRuki. XD

**A/N:** I've been obsessing about Ichigo lately. And not in a good way too. lol XD You see, I just love his dark side. Not the hollow but he, himself, as a darker person. I love his hollow too of course. XD I've read **Never** and **Forever** by **C. LeShay **and I just loved that fic. I recommend you guys to read them too. There's not much fics that makes Ichigo the enemy anyway. This was supposed to be one shot, but seeing that I can't write that many in 1 chapter, I made it multi-chaps. XD Maybe 3 or 4 or 5 chapters before it's completed. I haven't quite thought about the ending too. o.O Maybe some OOC-ness here and there. O.o Sorry for that.

* * *

**Chapter 1 **

**The Sun and Moon's Tragedy**

"Kuchiki Rukia..." an elder spoke, his voice - cold and demanding, "Do you accept?"

Rukia lowered her gaze to the floor of their meeting place. They were in a secluded conference room, located somewhere in the Kuchiki Mansion. The room was lit only by fire attached to the four pillars supporting the ceiling. They were underground. The meeting was held privately between the Kuchiki clan and she stood on the middle, with all the Kuchiki elders' attention on her. She was given a mission only she could fulfil. That mission was...

To marry a noble of another clan...

It was the tradition of every women in a noble clan to strengthen their bloodlines and hold for power. The Kuchiki clan, as the strongest clan, cannot accept any more of their members to bend the rules and marry a commoner. Fearing Rukia's growing closeness to the Substitute Shinigami, they have decided to arrange her marriage as soon as possible. Although the preparations had already been made, they have the courtesy and honor of asking her permission to oblige on the said event. By her own words, with her own confirmation, the wedding would not look forced. They know that she would not refuse their request because they know how grateful she was to have a family and moreover, be in a noble family.

It was not Rukia's choice to be a noble. If given the chance to choose which family between a noble and a commoner, she would choose the latter. Being a noble, she had experienced great pain and a number of insecurities about herself. Now, she was faced with an obligation she could not decline.

"Yes." her voice quivered, "I... I accept."

It took her years to master the art of Kuchiki nonchalant facade and facial expression suppression technique, and it just took five freaking minutes to break it. She tried to hide her face and her eyes from the elders and from her brother. She glued her eyes to the ground, never facing them. They seemed to be satisfied with her answer anyway. Her eyes were watery and had the saddest expression she ever wore. She would not let them see how weak she was.

But, how is she going to face Ichigo? When they had just confessed their undying love for one another...

* * *

**A few days before Rukia's return to Soul Society...**

It was a rainy night when an arrancar suddenly appeared, looking for Karakura Town's shinigamis to kill. Unfortunately for him, there were two of them. It was a long hard battle. The arrancar was strong. Defeated, almost, he used his last remaining power to conjure a powerful cero and aimed it at Ichigo. Ichigo was ready to dodge the cero but the arrancar used his paralysis ability and paralyzed Ichigo in place.

Seeing that Ichigo was unable to dodge, Rukia protectively moved infront of him, "Bakudou Eighty-One, Danku!" she casted on the last minute. However, Rukia's mastery of kidou was not as strong as Byakuya's. By skipping the incantation, the Danku was only at one-third its full strength and it was not enough to stop the cero completely. The cero collided with the wall created by Danku and blasted. Rukia, who was behind the wall, was injured.

"Ru... Rukia!" Ichigo yelled as he willed his body to move. Using his hollow's power and his current rage, he was able to shunpo behind the arrancar and slashed him mercilessly. Then he caught Rukia as she fell.

"Ichigo..."

"Idiot. Don't speak." His mask dissipated and his black eyes with yellow irises were back to normal. He put her down on the roof of a building to wait for Inoue and the others. "Help's coming..." He could feel Inoue, Ishida and Chad's reiatsu nearing them.

"I'm fine... the bakudou reduced the intensity of the cero." she assured him and sat up, "This is just a scratch..."

"Rukia... don't do that again."

"Do what?"

"This... is the fourth time now..."

"Fourth time of what?"

_Of nearly losing you_, he thought but he couldn't say it out loud. It was either pride or ego, keeping him from doing so. The first time was when she almost died from the Soukyoku hill, the second was by Grimmjow and the third was when he felt her reiatsu vanish after her fight with an Espada in Hueco Mundo. It was the fourth, when she moved herself in front of him to shield him. If she hadn't used Danku, she might've a hole in her stomach yet again... or worse. The thought was unbearable.

"Of nearly losing you..." Forget pride, forget ego. He had to say it now. It was the fourth time anyway. He don't want it to be repeated ever again. So he had to make it clear to her, so she would understand. "Don't shield me. Don't protect me. That's my duty."

"Your duty? Don't be so cocky, Ichigo. Keeping you alive is my duty too." She smiled and turned her gaze to the sky with a sad expression on her face. "It was because of me you had to do this duty. The least I could do, is make sure you don't die before I do."

"Rukia, you idiot!" he sounded a little mad, "I won't forgive you if you die before me." he turned to gaze at the sky too.

She laughed, "The feeling is mutual." and smiled.

"That's not good." he smiled back. "I should die first. 'Cause I can go to Soul Society and hunt you."

"Ichigo... you have a family here. So don't think about dying so early." _Besides that, I'm already dead_, she thought.

And then there was silence. Both of them, relishing the moments of their survival, the thought of overcoming things together, the thought of carefree days together, or maybe just the mere thought of having each other side by side. Neither one could imagine himself/himself without the other the same way. These memories, their bond and relationship, was their treasure and gift to each other. But this "bond", although acknowledged, did not have a name to itself. What was this bond called? The bond of belonging together?

It was then that Ichigo decided to name it. "Rukia..." he spoke her name gently, "I think... I think I love you." He looked at her with all sincerity.

"What?!" Rukia quickly looked at him, so quick her neck almost snapped. She was going to ask if he was serious but his eyes gave all the answers. His eyes were full of passion and intensity. He was serious. Dead serious.

"You heard what I said. I'm not repeating that again." It was his turn to look away, embarassed at his own confession. He was slightly blushing too, though the dim light from the moon was not enough to reveal it. Rukia was astonished, slowly taking in everything he had just said. Ichigo waited patiently for an answer. After ten seconds, "Well? Don't just stare at me like an idiot! You look dumb! I just confessed to you, you should atleast say something than a_ what_."

Rukia didn't quite know what to say. Because honestly, she hadn't quite thought about it, about her and Ichigo, and their relationship. Sometimes they appear to just be nakamas but they had this deep understanding and respect for each other. It transcends the status of friendship. Sometimes they hate each other and their presence just annoys the hell out of them but inside they knew just how much they care for each other. She'd risk her life for him and his family and he does the same. He'd save her with so much passion and persistence, sometimes she just wanna hit him on the head and kick him in the arse for not listening to a word she says. But then... a dead girl and a human, how could that be? Soul Society won't approve of it, if they happen to hear the news.

"Ichigo..." Rukia whispered, "I am a shinigami and you're a human. I've lived decades and you still have so much to live. Here and in the afterli-"

"Cut the crap already!" he said sternly. "I don't care about Soul Society. I don't care if you're a shinigami. I don't care about my afterlife or any of that. I just need to know one thing." Their eyes meet and she was sure she saw his eyes lit with fire. "Do you... or do you not feel the same?"

"Won't you shut it and listen to what I have to say first?" she asked, with her fists clenched tight. She had to make him realize the difficulty of their situation or their situation-to-be once she answer that question, whether it would be a yes or a no. "Soul Society's laws will not approve of this. The mere fact that I have given you my powers is already a crime, what more-"

"Shut up." He cut her with his mouth. He kissed her with intense passion. She blushed and she knew she had to push him away before she lose the strength to do so. But he placed his right hand on her head and pulled her deeper into the kiss. She couldn't back away anymore. She refused to name their relationship but it was far too hard to refuse him. For whenever she was around him, everything felt so right. He gave warmth to her cold nature. He was the sun, who locks the heaven for her, who makes the world go round for her.

What was that? That feeling? Surely it wasn't love. For this feeling was something that transcends love. But there was no name for it. What was something deeper than love itself?

It was Ichigo who stopped and pulled away after feeling his nakamas' reiatsu almost a few feet away. "You're so noisy. When did I care about the laws of your society? I told you, it doesn't matter to me. I'd break the ru-"

"I love you too, Ichigo." She said it. There's no turning back now.

"Wha- What did you say?" Ichigo blushed, a bit shaken but happy.

She smiled, trying to hide it but failing miserably. "You heard me."

He smirked, "Took you long enough to say it." He pulled her again for another kiss but she quickly punched him away as Inoue, Ishida and Chad suddenly appeared behind them.

"Kuchiki-san! Kurosaki-kun! Are you okay?"

"Oi! Kurosaki, who punched you?"

"Why are you two so red?"

And then she had to leave, because she was called by the elders on this meeting. If only she saw this was coming, she shouldn't have said those thee little words.

* * *

"We will have the wedding within the week. You are no longer allowed to leave Seretei. You will be relieved of your duties as a Shinigami. This is all for now." The elders left as fast as they had entered the room. Rukia was left in the darkness, eyes still glued on the ground. Tears started to pour from her watery eyes. This was the cost of momentary bliss, this pain. It was all too much to ask for anyway. She was tied to this world, tied to her duties as a shinigami and as a Kuchiki. He was bound to his own world which was supposed to be free of someone like her. This was how it was supposed to be. But even then, she never regretted meeting him. She was happy, very happy to have met him and loved him. She will always cherish her memories with him.

It was sad that they will not have proper closure. She knew Ichigo would not approve of her decision. It was a choice she had to make for the clan and maybe of what was best for the two of them. After the wedding, she decided to beg for a chance to visit him one last time and pray that he will come to forgive her. Someday he will forgive her...

* * *

**A/N:** Oh for the love of Bleach, it's so hard to come up with a confession for IchiRuki. I wanted it to be sweet and romantic... but... that's so hard when it's IchiRuki. -.- Argh... And oh... for the love of God... When I was writing the confession part, I had doubts. Maybe I shouldn't have separated them and made this one-shot. Oh my... I feel bad now... Sorry... Ichigo, Rukia... T_____T Hope you guys forgive me... someday... T___T BTW, did I go OOC? T.T I'm sorry. Please review anyway. :( This was longer than I actually expected. O.o Wow! I actually get to write something so long. Anyway... I'm just sad... for separating the sun and the moon... don't kill me please.. T____T

... And I've written Ichigo as a very very good guy here... how can I turn him into a monster? Omg... I'm murdering his character... T____T


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